PART I: Pre-date Preparations

BEEP!

“Are we still on for tonight?”, the text message read. It was from Barbie (yes, that’s her real name and no, she’s not a hooker).

I met Barbie two weeks ago. She is the nicest, smartest and funniest person I’ve met in a long time. We’ve talked on the phone a few times, but this was our first official “date”. I was nervous, but excited at the same time.

“Yep. See you at 8 “, I replied.

I jumped on my bed, my eyes on the revolving ceiling fan, my mind thinking deeply.

I had no idea what we were going to do on the date.

“We could have dinner and a movie combo”, I though.

No, that’s what the average Joe will do. I should do something different, something creative. What kind of an engineer am I if I can’t be?

“How about we go to the arcade and play some games?”

Are we eight years old all over again? It could be fun though. No. Maybe if I mixed up it with something else.

But what?

“Bowling maybe?”

Hmmm… I’m not sure how I’m going to make that work with the date situation I’m in.

“How about we see a live band, or go to a concert?”

That’ll be cool, but where?

“That’s future-me’s problem”, I told myself, “Just relax and let future-me handle it”.

It was a line I heard from HIMYM and I’ve been using it to justify my lack of planning ever since.

Four and a half hours later future-me, now me, was in the shower. He had been in for close to 30 minutes.

When I came out, I sat in front of the dressing mirror and looked at myself. I wanted to tell myself something nice, something inspirational.

“Hmmm…”

Nothing.

My mind was blank. I coudn’t think of anything positive to tell myself. I wanted to do one of those positive reinforcement routines on myself.

I gave it another try.

“Hmmm…”

Still nothing, huh.

I put on a baby blue T-Shirt with a cute brown monkey printed on the front side. It was my favourite graphic Tee. I wore the blue jeans I’d worn all week because I knew she wouldn’t notice. 

I looked at myself in the mirror again. My P-Cap had “Jedi Master!” written on it. I’m awesome!

What was that?

“I’m awesome!”

Finally the positive reinforcement came.

One more time just to be sure.

“I’m awesome!”

Perfect!

7:50 PM.

I sprayed a little of my Davidoff Eau de toilette; although I wasn’t entirely sure if that was necessary.

7:55 PM. 

I think I’m ready…

                             Photo by: Sagespot
This is not my Barbie.

To be continued…

This is not a Poem…

… It is past midnight. It is warm. It is quite. Everyone is asleep. I am Awake. I am Alone…

It is like this everyday for the past month.

I am in my bedroom. The room is cold as ice. Not the temperature. I open the windows to let the night breeze give me warmth. I get cold. I get colder. Am I ill? But I am not. So I walk out.

I am in the living room. The TV is switched on, and some celebrity scandal is showing on E! I don’t hear. I can’t hear. I turn up the volume. I hear less. Am I deaf? But I am not. So I walk out.

I am in the kitchen. I am hungry. I open the fridge and make a sandwich. It looks tasty. I take a bite. I can’t taste it. Do I have taste buds? But I do. So I walk out.

I am on the phone. It is ringing at the other end but for some reason nobody is picking up. Seven days I wait a call back. Has the call been through? But it has. So I won’t call again.

I am on the roof of my eighteenth floor apartment. It is past midnight. It is warm. It is quite. Everyone is asleep. I am Awake. I am Alone. I don’t hear. I don’t see. I don’t taste. 

I jump. The warm breeze of the night hits my face. I hear the sweet melody of the night. I see the beauty of the night like never before.

But the one question remains: When I fall, will I feel again?