There goes my moment!

I don’t know what I’m writing or why I’m writing it. I just know I should, because I’ve got something in me that needs to leave.

You know that feeling, that moment you feel – “This is the time... This is it”. But just when you’re about to go down on one knee and propose, some jackass does something real stupid that spoils the entire moment. Your jaw hits the floor, you’re in shock and all you’re left thinking is -

“Fuck! There goes my moment!”

Or that one time you’re on the queue to ride the Roller Coaster. Full of energy, and every single cell in your body, dead and alive, is excited and looking forward to it. BAM! Comes the mean ol’ rain spraying everything aggressively. What are you thinking?

“Fuck! There goes my moment!”

And that time you’re so excited about sharing some great news with your parents about an achievement in your life. They don’t really need to know, but you feel they should be part that memory; because it is special and means a lot to you. And what do they do? They ignore the news and by pass all the excitement and go straight to telling you what you should do on something totally unrelated which quite frankly, you don’t give a crap about.

It’s moments like this that cripple you emotionally and make you loose faith in people. You get disappointed and just don’t give a fuck anymore. Moments like this, you do much more than just keep your head down and say -

“FUCK! THERE GOES MY MOMENT”

Death Trains & Kinky Sex.

The universe works in mysterious ways. Just yesterday I was talking about stupid people and the extinction of the human race, and this morning, I got hit in the face with this from Nadira.

Just in case you couldn’t find a second in your busy life to click on that link, let me tell you what happened.

Long story short, a South African couple were killed by a train while having sex on the train tracks. The End.

Now how do you react when you hear a story like this? Seriously.

OK let’s have a 3 second silence for the deceased.

One. Two. Three.

Now that that’s out of the way can I ask, What the fuck were they thinking?!

I have lots of questions that I’ll probably never get answers for. Deep down, I don’t want to know the truth; it’s probably lame anyways. I prefer speculating. Speculating is fun!

If you think this is mean and insensitive, tell you what; if I ever get hit by a train while having sex on its tracks, by all means speculate and make fun. You have my blessing. I promise I won’t haunt you in your sleep and cut off your penis.

So what do I think happened?

I think they were trying to “spice” things up. A little sex in public never hurt anyone, unless of course your idea of “public” is the train tracks. I understand doing it on the beach, back seat of the car in a shopping mall parking lot or even behind the bush at a city park. With the right persuasion, I might even give sex in the graveyard a pass. But train tracks? That shit is so far out of my reality that I can’t even imagine it – damn!

Respect to the girl though. Whether or not it was her idea, agreeing to participate proves that she’s one kinky bitch. If she was a prostitute (like some are speculating), even hotter! Some think it’s rape, in which case – The guy is a fucking asshole and I hope he fucking rots in hell!

But what if this was a love story? Have you thought of that? You know, some Romeo and Juliet shit? Maybe life was too hard for them, and they decided to commit suicide together. The right way. The fun way!

Isn’t that just the sweetest, most romantic thing ever? I think Wristcutters: A love story on X!

Fucking Orgasmic!

Now who do I have to blow to get the film rights to this story?