Death Trains & Kinky Sex.

The universe works in mysterious ways. Just yesterday I was talking about stupid people and the extinction of the human race, and this morning, I got hit in the face with this from Nadira.

Just in case you couldn’t find a second in your busy life to click on that link, let me tell you what happened.

Long story short, a South African couple were killed by a train while having sex on the train tracks. The End.

Now how do you react when you hear a story like this? Seriously.

OK let’s have a 3 second silence for the deceased.

One. Two. Three.

Now that that’s out of the way can I ask, What the fuck were they thinking?!

I have lots of questions that I’ll probably never get answers for. Deep down, I don’t want to know the truth; it’s probably lame anyways. I prefer speculating. Speculating is fun!

If you think this is mean and insensitive, tell you what; if I ever get hit by a train while having sex on its tracks, by all means speculate and make fun. You have my blessing. I promise I won’t haunt you in your sleep and cut off your penis.

So what do I think happened?

I think they were trying to “spice” things up. A little sex in public never hurt anyone, unless of course your idea of “public” is the train tracks. I understand doing it on the beach, back seat of the car in a shopping mall parking lot or even behind the bush at a city park. With the right persuasion, I might even give sex in the graveyard a pass. But train tracks? That shit is so far out of my reality that I can’t even imagine it – damn!

Respect to the girl though. Whether or not it was her idea, agreeing to participate proves that she’s one kinky bitch. If she was a prostitute (like some are speculating), even hotter! Some think it’s rape, in which case – The guy is a fucking asshole and I hope he fucking rots in hell!

But what if this was a love story? Have you thought of that? You know, some Romeo and Juliet shit? Maybe life was too hard for them, and they decided to commit suicide together. The right way. The fun way!

Isn’t that just the sweetest, most romantic thing ever? I think Wristcutters: A love story on X!

Fucking Orgasmic!

Now who do I have to blow to get the film rights to this story?

5 Responses to “Death Trains & Kinky Sex.”


  1. 1 ibrahim September 24, 2008 at 2:12 pm

    holy damn, suicidal sex could be so damn fucking painful. Ouch!!!!!!!!!

  2. 2 nursarahlam September 25, 2008 at 8:07 am

    There is nothing romantic about having sex at the train track. If they had suicidal thoughts, I guess there are other ways to die better than this.

  3. 3 Drama September 26, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    what the….isnt it painful to even do it on the tracks? with all the rocks and metal tracks….ouch.

  4. 4 Ameeyn September 26, 2008 at 5:41 pm

    @ Ibrahim: How would you know? :p

    @ Sarah: Yup, there probably are. But those ways won’t make the news will they? :p

    @ Drama: Exactly, then I thought maybe they both have rock bodies, like that guy from Fantastic 4. In which case, they wont feel anything and it’d just be amazing :)

  5. 5 Sarah October 5, 2008 at 12:07 am

    Yeah, I guess they are trying to die into the front page..


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